When Gray Becomes Black

Today was a bad day.   None of my days have been easy lately, but today was especially hard. This time of year is always difficult for me.  The weather starts to change.  The skies turn gray.  It rains.  It gets cold.  My mood, inevitably, darkens with the cycle of the seasons.  I become gloomy, slow,... Continue Reading →

Life Goes On

The holidays are upon us and this year is, hopefully, closing out a year of loss and pain and anger and sadness. Over the past year we have lost a beloved pet (she was with us for 15 years), my dad, my brother, a grandmother and my daughter's innocence and security. Having lived through the... Continue Reading →

Upside Down

My house is currently upside down.  It's a disaster.  Clean clothes need to be folded.  Dishes need to be washed.  Beds need to be made.  Toilets need to be scrubbed. The current state of my abode is just a metaphor for the entirety of my life at this moment in time. And this post is... Continue Reading →

Invaded

a·buse verb /əˈbyo͞oz/ 1. use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. synonyms: misuse, misapply, misemploy; More 2. treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. synonyms: mistreat, maltreat, ill-treat, treat badly; More   This morning has started the same way every other morning has for... Continue Reading →

Unstable

I can not get my head on straight this morning. It's a morning of sadness, anger and fear. It's a morning of mourning. Hell, it's been a year of mourning. And I am ready for it to be done. We're coming up on the one-year death date for my dad. On December 17th it will... Continue Reading →

I Hope You Read This Someday

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Some days I understand why some animals eat their young. My youngest daughter is one of the most stubborn, quick-tempered, dramatic people I have ever met (nothing like her mother at all 😉 ).  She has a tendency to over-react when things are not perfectly in... Continue Reading →

Starting From Scratch

Trying to find a job can be a painstaking, painful, difficult experience.  Trying to find a job after not having to look for one for six years is excruciating.  And, yet, here I am. Once upon a time I was a highly qualified, easily hire-able job candidate.  I had skills, availability, work history and temperament... Continue Reading →

The Process of Dying

I haven't had it in me to write about my brother and the experiences that surround his passing since my last post.  I am the queen of avoidance coping, what can I say?  I feel like the record needs to be set straight; however, regarding the details of his death.  Some of the things we... Continue Reading →

Lift With Care

I think I dreamed of my dad and my brother last night.  I can't fully remember if I did or if I just woke up with them heavy on my mind.  Sometimes one is better than the other.  All that I am left with at this point is the question of "when does it end"? ... Continue Reading →

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