Humans Should Not Eat Their Young


I happened to mention to some friends recently that I now know why some animals eat their young. Anyone who has children, no matter their age, has had one of those moments where they thought the same or something similar. Don’t lie. You know you have.

Today I am feeling a little more generous and a lot less… cranky… so I thought I would lay out a few reasons that I’m actually glad that we, as a species, do not eat our young.

  1. It’s just gross.
  2. The laughs. My children make me laugh; like laugh-out-loud laugh. They are funny and fun. They have jokes and they are sarcastic (not sure where that trait comes from) and sometimes they are ridiculous. And I love it.
  3. The beauty. My children are beautiful specimens of humankind. Stunning creatures. I know we’re all biased as parents, but seriously, my kids are gorgeous. I always said that I never wanted my kids to look like me and now I see a little bit of me shining back from their gorgeous not-so-little-anymore faces and I think “Hm. I must not be all that bad”. I guess you could say they make me see the beauty in the world and they are pretty good for the ego.
  4. The intelligence. Dude. Kids are smart! Okay, so my kids aren’t really “kids” anymore; not by definition, I suppose. But kids are smart as shit. I have long said that my kids are sucking my intelligence; as they get smarter, I get less and less intelligent. I feel like they are Jim Carrey in Batman Forever. They’re “sucking up IQ; vacuuming cortex…”. Damn. I watch too many cheesy movies. Maybe that’s where my intelligence has gone.
  5. The education. Being a mother has definitely been an education. I have had to learn patience and empathy. I’ve learned how to discipline without punishing. I’ve learned how to listen and actually hear when someone speaks to me. I’ve learned how to laugh~ at life and at myself (mostly at myself). I’ve learned how to teach others new things (again I should emphasize the patience thing here) and how to see life through another’s eyes. I’ve learned how to really love another human being.
  6. The joy. My kids are my positive light in a negative situation. Usually. Okay, they are. When my dad died recently I could look at my kids and I could still find a smile~ for them; because of them.
  7. The wonder. Kids are curious; even “older” kids. They are nosey as hell. Their curiosity just shifts from things like the hole in their nose to the birds and the bees to what’s going on with Aunt So-and-So that everyone is whispering about at holiday gatherings. And you know what? I’m cool with that. There is definitely nothing wrong with wanting to learn something new.
  8. The vulnerability. Your kids need you. I’m not talking about bottle-feeding and butt-wiping. I’m saying that they need you. No matter how old and no matter if they say it or not; they do, in some way. And everyone needs to be needed once in a while.

I could go on to list a million more reasons, but I wouldn’t want to make anyone jealous. I mean, my kids are way cooler than yours.

But I’m not biased.

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